June 6, 2009

Mindful of the Perfect Banana Chocolate Chip Muffin

I am reading mindful eating and so here I go:

I am eating a perfect banana-chocolate chip muffin. It's golden, smallish in size, but not so small to be considered mini. It's a normal homemade muffin on the small size. None of that cafe-style muffin that you might get in the bakery that catches your eye through the glass with its grandiosity and sugary-crumble top. Those kind of muffins are seductive and wooing, but with promise of indulgence and gluttony guilt to come. And then after you eat the extra-large giant bakery muffin, you have that overly-starched "I shouldn't have eaten that" feeling with the faint taste of preservative in your mouth and a slight sugarhaze that paired with strong coffee either jump starts your morning or leaves you craving bacon or another unsightly protein.
No, this muffin is homemade, home muffin tin size, perfectly golden, a bit crumbly, and unsymmetrical. It's perfect in that it is not perfect, it's irregular, which any more means that it is perfect. We have so much perfect in our lives: perfect houses, perfect teeth, perfect fake plants, perfect highlighted hair, that anymore to have something that is Real it has to be delightfully irregular. So this muffin is irregular and unsymmetrical. It has two or three half-melted chocolate chips on top and perhaps the chance of more hidden within. The smell is satisfying, and almost you could smell this muffin and be satiated, but not quite.
It tastes of sweet banana, bittersweet chocolate, warm, gooey muffin consistency and no strange aftertaste. It fills my stomach with warmth on the inside. And with my french roast coffee (with extra fat-free cream) my stomach feels so content. Did I say that this is the second muffin?
I have finished now. All that is left is a few crumbs on my white plate and a smear of chocolate.
The book says to pay attention to what my body is telling me about what I ate so that I will know if I am satisfied or in need of more. Mind? Heart? Belly? Tastebuds? Hands?
My mind tells me that the combination of coffee and banana-chocolate chip muffin is a winner. I could eat this everyday. I know that the muffin is fat-free (with the exception of the few chocolate chips I added in) and that it was small-ish so it was a healthy portion. My mind is thinking of what is ahead in this day and all that needs to be accomplished, but how much I am enjoying typing and journalling today and that this is perhaps the best work that I can do. But then there is the weed-pulling in the garden.
My heart is telling me that I need lots of time to write and reflect in life with the aid of perfect muffins to be truly happy.
My body is telling me...I have a slight sore throat, and perhaps the beginnings of a cold. There is some tiredness behind my eyes. My muscles in my shoulders and neck are a little tight. My body is kind of tired in general, like before you get sick.
My belly is full, pleasantly,happily.
My mouth would like another muffin. It really enjoys the tastes of coffee and muffin and would like to eat two more. My mind argues with my mouth. My belly is not needing it. My body would like some more because it feels as though it needs mores sustenance to ward off the cold and energize me into all that has to be accomplished today.
So apparently what do I really need right now?
More muffin? more coffee? more sleep? more writing?
In a perfect world I wouldn't have to accommodate my desire for sleep, writing, resting, playing around my need to pull weeds, fill the dishwasher, put away clothes, clean the fish aquarium, vacuum out the car, and convince my daughter to clean her room (which requires more work than for me to do it). In a perfect world everything would be perfect. But is it the irregularities that make this world perfect? Is the pull and press of all of the things in life that create the irregularities and cracks that make it Real and therefore most delicious? I don't know about all that.
I think I will just go get another muffin.


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